Maybe not since Cecil B. De Mille have I heard the word smite in a movie, but it’s here towards the end of this “Blair Witch” meets “Solo Levelling” low budget bobbins. I know I ought to be more supportive of my native independent sector, but this is just a mess of a film that Graham Jones must have thought looked good on the storyboard but that is where it ought to have stayed. It’s all about a video that teases documentary film makers “Sam” (Annabelle Logan) and “Ash” (Joma West) with a conundrum. It shows us a couple of budding Banksy’s exploring what looks like some derelict tunnels when they discover a stand-alone door frame with the door firmly shut. They can clearly observe both sides of this solitary object but still they open it and…. What happens next? Well our intrepid duo soon find themselves playing inter-dimensional “It’s a knockout” as they unite with “Brian” (Hughes) to get to the bottom of the mystery. I did actually quite like the mischief in the premise and at times there are glimmers from the writing that bely the fact that this can’t have much cash or time to accomplish it’s goal, but seriously - it comes across as a student project. Constant swearing doesn’t constitute comedy writing, slapstick is actually a precision art (probably why I don’t much care for it at the best of times) not something that becomes funny because Harold Lloyd used to do it. Acting isn’t just about being yourself amongst friends having a lark, you have to attempt to create characters that we can engage with. We don’t have to like them, but we have to have some sort of hook else why would we care where this door does, or doesn’t, lead. There’s nowhere near enough focus on what we are supposed to be looking at or for and even the presence of a talking “Toto” couldn’t make the story anywhere near cohesive enough to get into. Logan is certainly the most natural of the talent on display here but otherwise, this is a later night television project after a few pints that you might get a giggle from, but that’s only a “might”!

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